Rosalynde -- All that and brains too. Thinks she can solve problems by dressing like a boy. Nice girl but can't tell when her own cousin Celia is lusting after her.

Celia -- Closeted lesbian in love with her cousin Rosalynde.

Duke Senior -- Rosalynde's father, but ... he's a biological man who lives his life as a woman in Arden.

Phebe -- Bitchy shepherdess not in love with Silvius.

Jaques -- Dark, scary, secretive, wierd misanthrope. Speaks in Star-Trek-like technical jargon.

Alex and Eddie -- Flunky tech assistants to Jaques and stage managers with headsets dealing with the soap actors.

Club Kid and Entertainment Reporter Katherine Von Tingles -- Cameo role for outlandish club kid who owns his or her own "gear" and can pull off a woman from Entertainment Tonight. Ultra sexy and nasty.

Oliver -- Jealous older brother of Orlando. Wants to kill Orlando but is saved by Orlando from jungle animals and hunters.

Orlando -- Prefers porn to poetry. Nice guy but can't tell when a girl is dressed up as a boy.

Adam -- Servant and kind old coot who tries to stand between these 2 brothers and tries to smooth things out.

Touchstone -- Terrible stand-up comedian who thinks he looks good in a wonder bra.

Duke Frederick -- Celia's father. Evil bad-guy duke who mends his ways by becoming a minister. Falls for the Club Kid from Limelight.

Silvius -- Quirky Poindexter shepherd in love with Phebe.

3 Lords to Duke Senior and Clown Troupe -- Ab-Fab whistling hunters. Mutts and Jeffs who are happy to be quite Out in Arden with Duke Senior.